Where Anger Starts, Riding Ends

I’m usually a calm, collected rider. I often almost slip into a zen like state of mind. I lose track of time, of who is around me and if I don’t wear gloves I even sometimes ride to the point that my fingers start to get blisters and I never even feel it until I get off the horse.  

That’s what usually happens. Today though, not so much.  I was riding in a lesson with Sparky. Trying to get him to stay light instead of hanging on my hands.  He gets so heavy, especially to the left, that I can do a big half halt on my inside rein and there’s no response at all from him.  His head doesnt’ even move. It’s like his mouth is hard rubber. I can feel the bit on his tongue and bars and when I pull on the rein, I can feel a slight give on his tongue, but that’s it.  His head doesn’t turn, he doesn’t move his head, heck, his ears don’t even flick back towards me.  

It drives me nuts. Just pushes my buttons.  I feel like he’s just ignoring me and I have no control.  He’s not taking off or anything scary, except he kind of is because I can’t slow him down in any normal fashion.  He just ignores me

Today when he did this rather strongly at a trot and I couldn’t get him to respond to anything I did with my hands I mirrored his hardness with my hands and made them super strong.  While this did bring him to a screaming stop it wasn’t a particularly good idea. Certainly it stopped him and I almost had a feeling of “winning”, of making him give in to what I was asking for instead of him ignoring me.  

The thing is, though that riding shouldn’t be about “winning” against your horse.  It should be about working in harmony with your horse NOT fighting with him or her. When I let myself get angry and frustrated with him, I stopped thinking of other ways to get through to him besides what I was already doing (half halting on inside and outside reins while working on a circle).  Instead when he pulled and wouldn’t soften I PULLED back slamming him to a halt and undoing all the work we had been doing on suppling and softening and relaxing.  

I’m riding again tomorrow and I’m sure we’ll end up in the same situation with him heavy and hanging on me.  Hopefully I’ll be more able to think things through and not just pull back on him. Maybe I’ll do a small circle or serpentine or something that gets him doing something different that was my idea but not a big huge disturbing change.  We’ll see! Riding is humbling, but so rewarding. 

Happy (and thoughtful) Riding!